Genre: Humor
Rating: T for language (will be bumped up later probably)
Pairing: Garrus x Shepard
Summary: Garrus agrees to helping with some experimental tech, which has some...unexpected results.
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Chapter 1
How had he let Shepard talk him into this? He wasn't usually the one to go running into any sort of experiments, but somehow he had gotten roped into helping a scientist the Commander met on the Citadel a few months back. He'd been working on some non-lethal tech that might be handy for C-Sec and other departments, and Shepard thought it was a good enough of a cause to talk him, Garrus Vakarian, into helping test it.
So there he stood, lined up with what looked to be a small handgun with a holographic interface on the back. "Whats this thing supposed to do exactly? Stun or something?" He propped a hand on his hip and leaned against the wall behind him and surveyed the lab around him. It wasn't a very large one, clearly not one with much government funding since it was just the doctor here, and very few instruments. A few work tables lined the walls, scattered pieces and parts of tech littered the stations, a few had even made it to the floor.
"Actually its supposed to create a containment field." The Salarian in front of him stated in a matter-of fact tone as he made adjustments on the small interface.
He'd already forgotten the good scientists name, not that it was all that important that he remember. He glanced over at Shepard and quirked a brow plate at her. He wondered if she could tell that he was having second thoughts about being this man's test subject.
"How's it supposed to keep AI down?" Garrus asked curiously, as he examined the dissembled pieces of what looked like a small memory unit on the table nearest him. A containment field wouldn't do much to keep an AI from draining it and walking away with a recharged battery, and able to do a hell of a lot more damage than before.
"I've installed an electromagnetic pulse that should short circuit them until they can be reprogrammed or contained." The scientist stated plainly as he finished typing on the screen at last.
"I think he's ready. " Shepard said, a small chuckle barely hidden underneath her words.
The Salarian didn't waste much time after that, and fired the test weapon at Garrus. It felt odd, the tingling sensation of electricity pulsed over his body from his fringe to his talons. The electromagnetic pulse possibly? It felt weird but not extremely uncomfortable, if it had been Shepard who'd done it to him and there was a promise of intimacy later it might even feel nice. It certainly wasn't anything he couldn't handle. Soon his visor blinked off, and he waited for the field to go up. It didn't look like anything was happening though.
He closed his eyes and went back to resting against the wall, he supposed there was a chance there was a delay in the mechanism, the waves of electricity still danced across his body as he waited. Soon enough that subsided. He opened his eyes as he heard a sharp intake of breath from Shepard.
It looked like it had worked, at least he hoped that was what he was looking at, otherwise he hoped the Salarian had a deity to pray to. The field around him had to have distorted his vision, if not there were really only two other options for what was going on.
Either he had shrunk to the size of a small child, or the Commander and the Scientist had grown much, much taller. The Salarian started to laugh and put the weapon down. "Well it wasn't what I was hoping for but I suppose it does reduce the threat."
Shepard stormed over to the scientist and shoved him against a nearby wall. "You'll fix this now." She growled out, it always loosened his pelvic plates a bit when she sounded so dangerous. "I can't have him less than half a meter tall!" Well that stopped any fun thoughts of the Commander from going any further. He'd really shrunk, great.
"I'm afraid I cannot." The Salarian held his hands up in surrender fear plain on his face and all traces of humor gone. "It wasn't supposed to do that, I'll have to do some work on the device to change its function. It shouldn't take but a week at the most for me to fix it. Until then I suggest you keep your tiny Turian friend out of any fights. I'm not sure he'd be able to gun down any threats right now."
Garrus thought he could hear a trace of humor in the Salarian's voice at the end. He'd probably had laughed too if it had been anyone but him, but it wasn't, and it pissed him off. He was Archangel dammit, Turian badass and he was not going to put up with being smaller than an assault rifle!
He growled deeply and stormed over to the scientist, his head not quite coming to the other's knee, and shot him in the shin. He supposed he should be thankful his guns and equipment that had been on him at the time had shrunk right along with him.
The scientist yelped and jumped back, knocking his head against the wall with a loud thump. "Alright, alright I'll get it done sooner than that! I'll send you a com when I believe its done."
Then, without warning, and certainly against anything Garrus had expected to happen next, Shepard picked him up and cradled him to her chest like a child. His mandibles flared indignantly. "I can walk Shepard!"
It didn't get him anywhere, she just bit back a smile, and a soft "pfft..." emanated from her lips. "What exactly is so funny?" He was angry, and he had every right to be dammit.
"Your voice is...tiny." And with that, a laugh rolled out of her, followed by many more until she was barely able to leave the Scientists laboratory with him in hand.
At least someone found this funny.
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